Making the decision to bring your child to the Behavioral Emergency Center isn't an easy one. In fact, it was the first time we had done it without a suicide attempt or ideation episode. I didn't know the first step in what to do; with direction and advice from our county case worker, we were able to take the first step: talk to her about her need for help. Since returning from residential treatment at a dual diagnosis facility, she has been having erratic. sometimes manic, behavior. Her sole focus has been on her chemical health and staying sober, which is vital to her maintaining her emotional and mental health, but she's been neglecting her mental health. As most children/adults with mental health (depression, borderline personality traits. generalized anxiety), she doesn't see that there is any cause for her concern and strongly fought us when we suggested taking a trip to the hospital. She doesn't hear us when we voice our concerns over her behaviors, and share that her caseworker, social worker at school, and best friend all have similar concerns. Her immediate reaction is that we want to get rid of her and "send her away". I have learned not to reason with she when she begins an episode; she can't hear anything except what she thinks she hears.
Immediately upon suggestion, she began screaming; blood curdling, someone is getting murdered in front of my eyes screaming. I am confident that everyone in my neighborhood could hear her screams, rants, and constant expletives as we tried to calm her down. At the suggestion of our county mental health crisis line, I called 9-11 for assistance. Our daughter tried to leave the house, then raced up to her room and slammed the door. Fearful of what she might do alone in her room, my husband stood guard outside her door, eyes on her the entire time. As I was explaining to the 9-11 dispatch operator what was going on, while I was on my front porch, she told me she could hear my daughter's screams through the closed door. After about 10 minutes, an ambulance and three police cars arrived; my daughter walked out and said to the paramedic, "Let's do this", and then made a snarky comment to me. The paramedic instantly told my daughter to "get in the ambulance" in a tone that told her DO NOT MESS WITH ME. My daughter complied, and was guarded by the other paramedic and a police officer.
The experience at the hospital was not any better; she was so filled with hatred and anger toward me and my husband. She called us cowards (actually f'ing cowards), and told the staff at the hospital that we were idiots. I admit, for a while I wondered if what we were doing was the right thing, and let her get in my head. However, all of the mental health professionals we dealt with assured us that we were doing the right thing and the best thing for our daughter.
It has been two days since we left her at the hospital, and she has not wanted to see us. We've had very tense phone calls and her anger and hatred is still very strong toward us. I wish she could understand just how much this hurts us, too. Our son, who is away at college, has also been concerned and he joins us in wanting her to know how much we all want her to get healthy and lead the life God has planned for her.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
A Whole New World
The song from The Little Mermaid is running through my mind right now; the past 9 months our family has been immersed into a whole new world involving addiction, recovery, and mental illness. It's not much of a surprise that this is what was causing my daughter's actions, especially when we dive into details and become more knowledgeable on things. The worrisome actions in my last entry continued and intensified in frequency, so much that when our son was home over Christmas break he was the first to mention that there might be "something wrong with her" (i.e. mental illness). A few days after taking him back to college, I called the local hospital mental health intake line, and left a detailed message on my concerns with my daughter. They never called me back. That was a Tuesday; three days later my husband woke up to find five other teenagers in our house in the early morning hours, with a slew of empty liquor, beer, and wine bottles.
At 7:00 a.m. I received a phone call from an ER doctor at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis, indicating that my daughter was in their care and to come right away. This is not the phone call that any parent wants to receive; the doctor was very vague on the phone and I didn't have any idea what condition my daughter was in. I managed to call my principal to find coverage for me that morning, got dressed and raced to the hospital in morning rush hour.
When I arrived at Children's Hospital, I discovered she was unharmed (thankfully) but quite intoxicated and had been making comments about wanting to die. Her blood alcohol level was 0.11 when she arrived at the hospital, I can only imagine what it was when she left our house just a few hours earlier. She had been driving the car with the group of kids and started to have a panic attack because she realized that she was driving drunk. The "friends" she was with dropped her off at the ER door and took off.
We met with a social worker, and there was grave concern over our daughter's behavior patterns. The social worker indicated she wanted to have our daughter admitted to a adolescent behavior unit for testing, observation, and treatment. We were told that this could take a few days, as there were no beds available at facilities in the Twin Cities. Keeks would remain a patient at Children's Hospital until a bed in an adolescent psych unit opened up. A few hours later, the social worker came back to share that there was a bed open...in a hospital in Duluth (a 3 hour drive north of the Twin Cities). We agonized over this, but in the end decided that it was best for her to get treatment right away. Keeks was sent by ambulance immediately to Duluth.
She spent eight days in the adolescent psych unit at Miller-Dwan hospital in Duluth before coming home and beginning outpatient care at a local facility. She was diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety, borderline personality traits, PTSD, and a few others. Anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication was prescribed and we were hopeful that the nightmare would end soon. We wanted our daughter back and we wanted more than anything to keep her safe and healthy.
At 7:00 a.m. I received a phone call from an ER doctor at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis, indicating that my daughter was in their care and to come right away. This is not the phone call that any parent wants to receive; the doctor was very vague on the phone and I didn't have any idea what condition my daughter was in. I managed to call my principal to find coverage for me that morning, got dressed and raced to the hospital in morning rush hour.
When I arrived at Children's Hospital, I discovered she was unharmed (thankfully) but quite intoxicated and had been making comments about wanting to die. Her blood alcohol level was 0.11 when she arrived at the hospital, I can only imagine what it was when she left our house just a few hours earlier. She had been driving the car with the group of kids and started to have a panic attack because she realized that she was driving drunk. The "friends" she was with dropped her off at the ER door and took off.
We met with a social worker, and there was grave concern over our daughter's behavior patterns. The social worker indicated she wanted to have our daughter admitted to a adolescent behavior unit for testing, observation, and treatment. We were told that this could take a few days, as there were no beds available at facilities in the Twin Cities. Keeks would remain a patient at Children's Hospital until a bed in an adolescent psych unit opened up. A few hours later, the social worker came back to share that there was a bed open...in a hospital in Duluth (a 3 hour drive north of the Twin Cities). We agonized over this, but in the end decided that it was best for her to get treatment right away. Keeks was sent by ambulance immediately to Duluth.
She spent eight days in the adolescent psych unit at Miller-Dwan hospital in Duluth before coming home and beginning outpatient care at a local facility. She was diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety, borderline personality traits, PTSD, and a few others. Anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication was prescribed and we were hopeful that the nightmare would end soon. We wanted our daughter back and we wanted more than anything to keep her safe and healthy.
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