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Monday, January 9, 2012

The First Steps - 8 years ago

It seems like yesterday when I heard the term "Trisomy 18" and what it all meant.  It is so hard for me to believe it has been nearly 8 years - because that means that it has also been nearly 8 years since I felt my baby boy kick, held his tiny, beautiful body in my arms and then had to say good bye to him.

If you are a parent who has recently received a diagnosis that is "not compatible with life", my heart goes out to you.  It is one of the most devastating moments in a parent's life, however, I would not give up a single moment of my son's brief life if it meant I didn't have to feel that pain.  At first you feel shock; this can't be happening, it must be a really bad dream. Then you realize that it is indeed happening to you, and you feel anger, which can be compounded if you are a person of faith.  Why is God punishing me with this?  I am a believer!  I love Him and he is putting me through this horrible pain and ordeal.  Eventually, you come to accept that plan that God has for you and your unborn baby and embrace it.  It may not be the journey you envisioned or hoped for, but now you need to make the most out of the life you have before you.

Every single moment that I had with Colm is precious to me -- embrace with love your baby and what time you will have with him or her.  Enjoy the pregnancy -- you have LIFE within you!  That beautiful baby is an expression of God's love and the love between you and your husband.  Know that there will be tears, and anger, but use them to help you move forward each day and do the best you can for you and your baby.  Always know that you have a community of parents who are here to support you in any way we can.

3 comments:

  1. Thank you for joining in, Pam. It is a shock the first time we hear those words...the diagnosis, although may be unique to each of us...the feelings that followed and the way it changed our lives, is probably quite similar. For, we are changed, forever changed after hearing the news that something is wrong with our babies.

    I hope you will join in next week, when we share what it was like waiting to meet our little one...carrying a child we know will face complications and likely have a brief life on this earth.

    Blessings to you...

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  2. "Not compatible with Life"....Oh how those words have haunted me! I'm walking with you!

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  3. I myself have received a diagnosis that is "not compatible with life". It truly is devastating to know your child is not expected to live. Thank you for joining in.

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