I sit here, the second Sunday in a row not knowing where my daughter is. Last night we said good night to her as we left for an evening out with friends, expecting to see her when we returned by 10:00 p.m. She had been out late the night before, and understood that she did not have car privileges. She seemed content to stay at home with our dogs, and have a lazy Saturday night. Around 8:20 p.m. she sent me a text that her "friends" were picking her up to go to a party. No other details, no idea who she was with or where she was. Around 12:30 a.m. I asked her where she was and who she was with; she simply responded that she wouldn't be home. She finally told me she was in St. Paul and that was the last communication I had with her.
These are not feeling that I am happy to be having on a regular basis; my stomach is in knots wondering where she is, who she is with, is she safe, is she coming home? She seems to have no sense of remorse or regret for acting this way toward us, and even acts as if we are the villain expecting her to communicate with us and respect our wishes. Parents have little recourse available to them in a situation like this; basically we were told one option we had was to suspend her drivers license and that was about it. She is embarking on life choices that are so risky and dangerous not only to herself, but potentially to others. Any consequences we seem to employ at home are laughed at and disregarded. As broken as my heart is right now, I also feel it hardening toward this child. If I have a Teflon coating around my emotions for her, maybe it won't hurt so much when she disappears, lashes out, and continues to make this life together a battle.
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