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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Baby Love?

I seem to have this intense baby love that I doubt will ever go away.  It started about 40 years ago, when all I wanted to be was a mom and a teacher (achieved both, thankfully!).  After 5 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, a stillbirth and raising 2 amazing kiddos - I still have this intense baby desire.  A mom at school brought her son with her today, he's 13 months old, and I could literally feel this pang in my heart of wanting another baby. Sometimes it actually hurts. 

Realism tells me I won't, but it doesn't take away the feeling.  I remember how happy I was when I was pregnant with Colm, and was going to get that one more baby.  Perhaps that is why the intense baby drive is still so prevalent - I'm missing out on the baby love that I should have had with him nearly 7 years ago.  All those baby smells, coos, smiles, giggles will have to wait for me in Heaven.

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